I like Science

 Dear Reader,

Yesterday, I was Home Alone and very productive.*

Today, I woke up very clear headed at 6:42 am, and felt proud that I fell asleep last night before midnight (23:30ish?) while listening to a sleep meditation.

I got to chat with P before he went off work butfell back asleep without a memory of saying goodbye to him. It was almost 12:00 when I woke up after a very bad dream. I called P (he is off to Belgium) because I missed him and needed to hear his voice to comfort me because the residual discomforting memory of the bad dreams feel like it will dictate my day.

This was my way of taking out a tool in my mental health upkeep toolbox.

I am now almost calm on our couch, watching a podcast of one of my favorite YouTuber filmmaker Dawn aka The Minimalist Mom. She’s with Michael Easter, who will share how Science can help us live healthier and meaningful lives.

Sipping my tea, I contemplated whether I will write what I loosely composed in my head yesterday (how I came to love Science as a child but a series of childhood traumatic events impacted me and my ability to connect to anything besides the subject I excelled im: English).

The bad dream changed my mind. 😝 

I am aware in order for me to keep healing I need to process all my traumatic experiences. But today, I would like to be kind to myself. I need a break from processing bad experiences. 

My start of my therapy at ACTP (Academic Center for Trauma & Personality Disorder, located in Amsterdam) has been delayed because the therapist in charge of my case, has suffered a concussion.

I feel sorry for him. I tried to not feel ashamed of feeling sorry for myself.

The incident actually helped me focus even more on to the other tools I already learned from my therapist in the Zorgkliniek:

1. Take care of my very basic (physiological) needs. (Maslow’s Pyramid)

Source

2.  Activate myself  (Polyvagal Theory)

The polyvagal theory: New insights into adaptive reactions of the autonomic nervous system

This is an article of Dr Stephen Porges, who developed the Polyvagal Theory

3. Do grounding exercises several times a day.

4. Meditate daily.

5. Continue mood tracking.

6. Journal.

7. Cultivate my (inner-circle) relationships.

The day before I started blogging here again, was the day I got the  call that I need to wait at least 2 more weeks to know how things will proceed with ACTP.

So, I got on here. I decided to help myself while I am waiting to be helped.

There were a lot of Science stuff that helped changed my traumatized mindset and brought me “here” - I regained back my brain. It’s still a long way to go but Science (amongst others) is there to grasp to when I start floundering.

Also, our cats.

Harry’s meowing made my heavy body feels lighter and I stood up to let him in. He was dried up (rain rain rain ☔️ 😆 just raining 😄 the last days) , fed and now cozied up with me)

Do you like Science? What’s your earliest memory of Science helping you out in your (daily) life?