Love for Lists

 Dear Reader,

Today is the 12th day in a row, I am showing up for myself using blogging as a tool to help me on my path to (CPTSD) recovery.

Ate soup that I cooked 2 days ago, even if I did not feel like eating. I felt a sense of pride. Even if I asked my middle daughter to warm it up for me, I didn’t feel completely helpless. I can put today - a heavy day - more in better perspective.

A nice motivational quote from Daylio. It’s one of the reasons I love using the app. The quote that randomly pops up almost always resonate with my current state of mind.

The quote above popped up on my Daylio (mood tracking app) after I posted my journal there, a minute ago.

It’s now 22:40 (10:40 pm; I like the military system of telling time, which I got in the habit of doing ever since I‘ve moved to Europe, more than 3 decades ago!) and I dread sleeping because of the return of bad dreams.

Anyway! I am here. Once again helping my brain 🧠 be in a better frame of viewing life, the world, the present and the future.

Whenever I find myself  in a dark mindset, and I have more energy that I am able to write (today is not that day 😝 but in the spirit of this blog project I am squeezing 😂 what I can out of my brain!) something positive to lift myself up, I create lists!

I still dream of running another marathon- it would be my fifth. It’s still a very long way towards the starting line of that impossible dream but it’s one of those things that keeps me going. 

The list I am making tonight though is not about which marathons I would like to still run but it’s a list of list! 😬

I am refraining from making plans because it’s counterproductive at this point in my recovery. Still, I can create many lists to entertain my mind.

A List of List

1. List of Places I would like to visit in the Netherlands 🇳🇱 

2. List of Cakes, Cookies I would like to bake for my family 🍪 🧁 

3. List of Filipino 🇵🇭 Dish I would like to cook 🥘 

4. List of Running Events 🏃🏻‍♀️ I would love to run again.

5. List of friendship 👭🏻👫🏻 I have which impacted my life positively

6. List of mentors 🤓😎I have had through the years

7. List of silly 😜🥸🥳🤣 things I would do when I have recovered 

8. List of poems I would like to memorize by heart 

📝 ❤️ 

9. List of activities/adventures I would like to experience with my beloved P🥰🥰

10. List of experiences I would like to share with my daughters 👩🏻👩🏻‍🦱🧒🏻 💕 

What’s on your List of Lists? Let me know when you wrote yours!