|please click on image for better view ☺|
I took the picture I am sharing today right before we started our dinner (precisely 8:12 pm). It was a lovely dinner. Next time, I can write in more details what happens during our time together by the dining table because it is something I treasure so very much.
After dinner is always a flurry of activity, rituals before going to bed. As the girls took turn brushing their teeth in the bathroom (mostly they cannot do this together because petty quarrels usually arise - we try our best to pre-empt these occurances through close observation of the girl's behavioural patterns!), I asked around for suggestions what I should blog about.
Yes, self-doubt still haunts me. But what is great about self-doubt, it leads one to self-discovery.
I promised myself that when I started this blog, it will be honest, spontaneous, fresh, and will convey my beliefs that a simple life is a sweet life.
It starts getting complicated though whenever I think that I would like to write something profound that will display wit and wisdom, experience and character, creativiy and humour - bladiblah.
The eldest had a lot of suggestion, that I told her I will save for next time when I have more time to research. The middle daughter, and the youngest delivered inspiration with the pictures I took of them before they went out for last minute dinner grocery shopping with P. Still, all these seems more special to me, than to share and be of interest to the world at large.
After watching the after dinner film, Sherlock Holmes with P for the second time in a row this week, I realised that I am wavering from my original conviction of being honest, spontaneous, fresh, and conveying the belief that a simple life is a sweet life. I am thinking so much of what to blog, instead of simply going with my instinct.
So, I told P, please give me 10 minutes, and I will join him to bed (I have not been keeping this promise since I tend to stay up until the weee hours of the morning since the holidays begun). My initial plan was simply to post the chosen picture above, and leave it with a simple provoking title in a question form, and a simple one line answer: In my case, the answer is my family. Adding another simple question at the end: What about in your life, what is the most important thing?
I could not leave it at that of course (compulsion to perfection is a challenge to shake off), and thought I could add a clever quotation, and googled the title question.
I am glad I did because this is what I found:
What is the Most Important Thing in Life? A Lesson from Tolstoy
I find a wonderful bedtime read for me, and a thought-provoking story to leave to readers.
I got goosebumps reading it, most specially the lesson imparted by the author, who shared Leo Tolstoy's story.
You see, I consider all the acts involving my musings - from being inspired, or seeking inspiration, to coming up with an idea, to looking for other ideas to support my own are all in a way my communication to God.
Reading the last part of the article, I felt God confirming what I hold true in my heart, but could not somehow lend words to. Here is what He gave me, through Elisha Goldstein:
We are all looking for the next best thing or the most important thing to be doing and what we often don’t realize is that maybe what we’re doing RIGHT NOW is actually the most important time and who we’re with is the most important person and what we’re doing in the moment is the most important thing to do.I say, amen.
I may not be as religious and as devout outwardly but I feel nevertheless the channels of communication to God, is loud and clear.
Well, I say goodbye to self-doubts tonight, here in the Netherlands, and once again, hello to simplicity. Simple is easy, why did I make it too hard for myself the last days in regards to this project? I guess clarity re-emerges when we face what we most fear, and embrace what we most love. For me, I feared judgement of what I share in words, but what keeps me going is my family, and my love for writing.
What do you fear most? And what do you most love?