A Foggy Wednesday Morning & Wayback Weekend

image I took today at 8:41 am

Brrrrrrrrr. 

Mornings here in Holland are getting colder and colder.

Perhaps I truly got used to biking in all kinds of weather and through all the different seasons, since we moved in the Netherlands because seeing fog on the way to bringing the Littlest to school, I greeted it with a smile.

Since I started again a new 365 project, changes in familiar landscapes, gets me inspired and  very excited.

Below is an image of a bike path I almost take daily.  Whenever I take a picture, someone usually stops and ask what I am doing.  I don't mind usually.  For this picture, nobody did and I am relieved! hahaha

Selfies are a tad hard to explain and could be awkward when you are trying to make it interesting.  But I am adventurous like that. :)

this image (taken with self-timer) is a part of the 365 Outdoor Selfies project
& of my #30BikeRidesChallenge
@The Lightness of Being on the Bike

I'm  a bit behind with all the blogging projects.  There were many ideas born in the time I was recovering from my injury.

So Long, September! On to October!
a blog @Happy Feet in the Netherlands
introducing blogging ideas/projects

No longer stressing about it, though.  So far, this year I have been more blog productive, than last year.

What I've learned to do is be more flexible and spontaneous with  blogging; the positive laid back attitude is slowly  spilling over my daily life. :)

For example, last weekend, instead of rainy outdoor selfies, I decided to dedicate it to the theme: Wayback Weekend.

A term my friend Eva, blogger @ Little Eve is trying to Grow Up came up while we were bantering about ways to share old pictures/blog stories, which never got published or even written because of varied reasons.

It came after I shared that I was planning to share old pictures and stories as a blog series: #MondayMemoryLane, #ThrowbackThursday, #FlashbackFriday, #SentimentalSaturday/Sunday. They are not new but have been popular terms in social media but I love the novelty and the practicality it offers for future blogs.

So tomorrow I will be sharing a week's worth of 365: Outdoors Selfies - #NoFilter, including the first 3 of the Wayback Weekeend theme.

My favourite spans from my 1st ever marathon
Berlin Marathon

Berlin Marathon, in it's 41st year is implementing the ballot system, and last weekend was the last opportunity to pre-register before it finally closed last Monday.

This occasion gave me the idea of using the Wayback Weekend theme.  Specially good for weekends, when I simply want to regenerate emotionally & mentally, and give myself a break from the week of Selfies! ;)

Don't get me wrong, it's fun but I've learned giving myself the freedom to adjust 365 projects has helped in getting further with them.  Change also takes courage.  The ideas and decisions, that comes up in the process of this project is all part of the project.

365 is in the core is my personal project in conquering my fears. :)

Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom
- Marilyn Ferguson

The Comforts of PMS

One of the many reasons for the 365 is my struggle with PMS. It has affected the quality of life in many ways that I can't describe in only one blog; it's only this year that things have improved since I begun having my cycles at the tender age of 10 y.o.

I have been planning for a long while to change my gynecologist for very personal reason but everything else took priority over it.  I know, I know, nothing should be more important than health but again, that is the reason for the 365,  to aid my family and I adjust our priority carefully and focus on them.

Yesterday was the first time, I simply did not think of being on time with posting the blog, I gave up being anal, and went to bed to rest my mind, my body.  So, you would notice that this once again is a backdated blog (meant for yesterday - Friday but posted  today, Saturday).

 I will be posting more backdated blogs from the time we went to Germany and the first two weeks of the girls going back to school. It's a lot of work but I have to do it to keep me motivated with the 365 of blogging.

This decision is partly influenced after watching Julie & Julia with the family on our Friday Movie night.

This blog, the blogs I created are personal projects to aid me with the transitions of living a new life here in the Netherlands, and although I care very much for my family and friends, who are supporting me, and are grateful to them and all the readers I have thus far connected since I created this blog, I was reminded by the film, that this journey is ultimately my journey, and I can take any path, or do anything to continue that path I chose, as I began the blog.

It's always a challenge to think straight before and during PMS but it's a relief once the cycle is finish and one can think clearly again. With 365, I realise with much clarity, that I am not crazy all the time, but only most of the time. ☺In between, I am rational, and I contribute positively to the lives of my family, my community and the world at large. I am not only the one, who is comforted but I comfort a lot of important people in my life, too.

On those crazy days, meanwhile, I take solace where I can, usually with the simple comforts of  pizza, cola, and brownies.


What are your  comforts for PMS (or you partner's) ?

Sleeping Blogger

Welcome, friends, readers, ICLWers! It's been at almost three weeks since my last post here due to a lot of personal matters.

Last night, I was debating with myself whether to post all the drafts meant for the daily blogging (3 weeks worth) to attempt to catch up or go simply on a Summer blog break, and decide what to do later on about all those drafted posts.  I still have not completely made up my mind yet but I am leaning towards a 3-month blogging break so far.

I was thinking if there was a way to delete my name on the list of ICLW the past couple of weeks but I was experiencing a fatigue that everything was such an effort, that I procrastinated about dealing with anything regarding blogging until the ICLW week finally arrived!

The comment on my last posted blog re-awakened this slumbering blogger, in all sense of the word!

I'll see what the ICLW week will bring, and take it one day at a time, just like the idea of this page...

Barefoot in Naarden (Vesting)

As part of 30 Day Bike Challenge in my other blog The Lightness of Being on the Bike, the family cycled together to Naarden Vesting today.

Littlest needed a lot of convincing to say goodbye to the playground we discovered right across De Grote Kerk (Dutch for big church) in Naarden Vesting.

The Summer Feeling

 

Yay! June is here! With it came the sunshine back in Holland!

Today,  my personal challenge of riding the bike for 30 consecutive days commenced.  I will be documenting this experience in The Lightness of Being on the Bike; it is a project to jump start the blog, which I created last April.

I will be blogging on that page daily this month while developing the idea : 30 Days of Bike Challenge, afterwards I would be setting selected days of blogging all about biking, by July.

This project would not have come to life, had I not blogged consistently for the last 5 months.  I am very grateful for the blog events I have participated in April  & May (A to Z Challenge and WordCount Blogathon) and the monthly one week long ICLW.  They, all in their own way, gave me the courage, inspiration, and most of all they brought back the magical delight in blogging!

What plans do you have for June? for Summer?

Jammin' in My Jammies

I was listening to Katie Melua, as I celebrated the completion of the 5th month of 365-self~portraits, WordCount Blogathon 2011, and going on strong with 365 days of blogging, also in it's 5th month! 

Sometimes, the only way to overcome the feeling of being closed in, feeling helpless, desperate and hopeless - as if the world, your world is coming to it's end is to simply take life ONE minute, ONE hour, ONE day at a time.

..

I Grasp Still Life - (celebrating a Book Anniversary belatedly)

On the 27th of May, 2008, I self-published a book with a collection of poems, using Blurb under my pseudonym Paper, which also served as it's simple title: Paper Poem.

It chronicles a difficult period through poetry.

book cover

The image below is the catalyst and inspiration for the book. This single image gave me hope, and helped my struggling spirit and clouded mind to write simple words, which I always struggle to find in times of stress and conflict.

I usually find it very hard to share, which is one of the motivation behind my 365 projects. It is very easy to slip into being a hermit when one is going through major transitions in life.  I have found comfort, strength, and focus in living life literally one day at atime

image originally taken April, 2008

I Grasp Still Life

There is utter happiness in a simple moment

There is simple joy in a basic action

As a little hand grasp the still life

Hope is rediscovered


Looking back, life has indeed changed a lot since I wrote this poem three years ago.  There are still a lot of major changes ahead, the only difference is, I feel my spirit is much stronger, my mind clearer.

celebratory collage for  the 365~self-portraits

I found this quote, that I would like to share to celebrate the third year anniversary of this book, that empowered me:

Words are a form of action, capable of influencing change.
Ingrid Bengis

How was life for your three years ago? Has writing words changed your life?

Avondvierdaagse

Today eldest participated for the first time in "De avondvierdaagse"  here in the Netherlands.  It is an annual four day walking event, introduced in 1909 in Holland.

It is a tradition we hope we could share as a family starting next year.  For now, we are very happy to support the eldest in the next four evenings of her walk.

If you would like to know more about this Dutch national tradition, as I myself would very much like to do, please check NWB Dutch Hiking Association.

An image of eldest is very rare now a days because she is at that stage that she does not want to be photographed at all. Except for the self-portraits she does herself, which I have to ask permission to share!

♡ ♡ ♡ I love this because I was not aware, neither was eldest, that Dada took a picture of us. ♡ ♡ ♡

Littlest wanted the tiara to be edited in, as she sat beside me and watched while I tinkered around picasa.☺

When was the last time you walked/hiked with friends and/or your family in the evening?

Hilversum, Horns and Horses

The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
John Vance Cheney 

please click on collage for better view

For the first time today, since we moved to the Netherlands, the girls and I biked to Hilversum a total of 22 kms to and fro.

I was very proud of them, as was P, when he welcomed them home.  He had to work today, and I shared and showed our bike outing to him, through the pictures I took of our tour, while he let the dinner he was cooking simmer on the stove..

This week was a pretty hard week for me - emotionally, and psychologically rendering me physically weak as it mostly happens.  For this, I am extra grateful, that today, a lovely sunny Saturday, I was able to finally fulfill my promise to the girls of going with them to Hilversum on the bike.  

It was not only a fun laid back Saturday excursion but also a graspable experience for them, that although I deal with depression, I do not let it affect the plans we set out to do.  We might not do it right away, but we will eventually.  A promise is a promise.


As we planned we got scoops of their chosen ice-cream at a shop we discovered last week, after buying middle-daughter's first communion dress.


I'll be writing more about our bike tour in my other blog, The Lightness of Being on the Bike,  which I finally shared to family and friends on my FB page this afternoon; now I am sharing it here, as well.

The first post and currently the only post on the blog page, was posted on the 11th of April, also the same  day I created the blog and had the idea to record bike tours, travels, thoughts, ideas, experiences and memories recalled while on the bike.

I felt inspired by Tina Su, a blogger I admire, creator of  Think Simple Now, whose words on her FB post (talking from her personal experience), to put  ideas into reality, and share it "out there" even if it is not yet fully developed, and it is still taking shape, made me move into action myself.

Sometimes, somethings simply needs an inspiration from the outside and empowering roar in the inside of one's being, to make it happen.  And I did my mighty roar: just do it!


 How do you celebrate when the darkness has lifted from you, and the sun shines again in your heart?

Perserverance & Persistance

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
Confucius

Th above quote is my battle cry not only for how so far my participation in WordCount Blogathon 2011 is going along but for all my 365 projects, and my ultimate professional goal as well.

I am currently having a challenging time with myself, and I have always found that reading quotes helps alleviate the pressure I feel from within me.  With today's post, I share the selected quotes I am meditating on to keep me focused and centered, as well as a self-empowering personal poster, which is also today's 365~ self-portrait.(I was channelling, The Thinker by Rodin, but I feel my apathetic disposition was in my way of making a better effort.  Sorry about that!)

In the realm of ideas, everything depends on enthusiasm. In the real world all rests on perseverance.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
Thomas Alva Edison 

How often—even before we began—have we declared a task ‘impossible’? And how often have we construed a picture of ourselves as being inadequate?...A great deal depends upon the thought patterns we choose and on the persistence with which we affirm them.
Piero Ferrucci

We can do anything we want to do if we stick to it long enough.
Helen Keller

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.
Anne Lamott

 I hope you have been uplifted by the wisdom behind these quotes, like I have.  If you would like to read more please check out Joy of Quotes, my source for inspiration!

What quote inspires you to perservere and be persistent?

First Holy Communion

As time allows, I will write in more details about middle daughter's First Holy Communion, which she had today. 

It was a very simple , lovely and memorable ceremony, that was enjoyed by the family and the entire community.

The ceremony and the atmosphere of the church brought back memories of eldest First Communion in Germany 5 years ago,  in June.

Giggling over Geese

I write this kind of anecdotes specially for beloved P because at the end of a long day, I tend to forget how to tell the story in the rhythm, that I would have liked to have him witnessed and experienced the moment himself.

Sitting beside the Littlest, who is not ready to nap because she was up 2 hours later than usual, I asked her which DVD she would like to watch, and requested her softly to sit down and not groggily walk around.

I was simply grateful she did not choose Percy Jackson (each member of the family can recite the lines of all actors in the entire film; just to state the obvious: we watched it almost if not over a  hundred times!), that I did not mind when she said "Geese!" meaning Fly Away Home.  P's most favourite film of all time, which he enthusiastically shared with the girls

Well, our three year old has not viewed this film as much as she did the other films we have in our DVD collection because it is not as action packed as most films she likes; it starts tragically, and for her it builds up slow.  This has changed since last week, though.

As I planned, outlined, drafted and pre-scheduled publishing posts for "My Daily Mooosings in the Netherlands", I heard the littlest uttering lines from a scene, before Anna Paquin's character 13 y.o. Amy, even uttered it.

In this theatrical trailer of the film, you will see a scene of Amy's Dad played by Jeff Daniels, telling her that he would be busy catching up on work, and Amy replying, "I am not a baby. You don't have to hold my hand."

We have often heard the Littlest quote a line from a film but mostly she says only main words clearly, and other details she sort of mumble. As in the case of Percy Jackson, where her favourite line is: This is a pen! (in a scene where Pierce Brosnan's character gave him the pen and told him to "...use it only in grave danger.."). Littlest's version used to be, "ehhhh...unintelligible...pen!" Now she could say the whole line with proper intonation , emotion before she starts jousting with the aforementioned pen with her older sister, middle daughter K.

This happened today with Littlest's favourite line from Fly Away Home, "I am not a baby. You don't have to hold my hand."  Well, okay her version still remains: "...not a baby. ....not hold hand." But her intonation, emotion and earnest knowing look with her eyes focused on the tv screen, while reciting the lines made me crack up and go awww at the same time.

I asked her needlessly as I rewinded the DVD to that particular scene if she loved what Amy said, and she smiled widely, nodding not taking her eyes off the screen.

Then I leaned over and playfully whispered in her ears, "Well, Amy does not need her hand held anymore but Mommy can still hold your hand, right?" Littlest nodded, smiling.  "You are still my baby, right?" she replied almost with the 13 y.o. Amy's decisiveness, "I am Littlest!" .

She laughed right after and I giggled.

BlogNote:

This was written yesterday under my FB Notes.  I thought I will share it here to share the lightheartedness I felt yesterday to fellow users of  Blogger, who experienced frustration of the site being down. I hope you enjoyed it!

Something's Cooking!

365 ~ self-portrait that inspired today's post

Today was again one of those, days that I doubted if I will be able to think of something to write about because there were so many things going on. There are also a lot of things coming up over the weekend. This kind of situation usually sends me in panic mode and I blank out.

I reminded myself to breathe in and out and FOCUS!

Then I asked myself, what is the motivation of this blog?

• It is not about selling a product or an idea.  
• It is not about giving daily advice full of wisdom for a particular field of specialization or profession

What it is about is:

• ... living the day's moments consciously , and recording the essence of the day in blog format, with the hope of inspiring, as one strives to keep one-self inspired
• ... learning and exchanging ideas/philosophies with other bloggers/writers in the blogosphere
• ... taking baby steps towards a profession/passion/dreame I once practiced/lived and dreamed of but due to many personal issues fell on the wayside

Letting all these points go through my mind as I cooked dinner for the family - my simple pleasure - relaxed me, and gave me the inspiration for today's post of the day.
.

BlogNote:

Initially, I wanted to write about what I have been cooking up for ideas regarding how I plan to be blogging and commenting around in the blogosphere i.e. planning posts for the entire month, and pre-publishing, building up readership etc.  Tips and advice from Michelle V. Rafter at  WordCount , have inspired me to do so.

But while writing my draft, I encountered technical issues, and thought I should allot another time for writing out those ideas next week.

Play Day

Household not done
Sunshine was more inviting
Monkeying required

My Day in Haiku

Today's theme in the 2011 WordCount Blogathon is Haiku.

I love poetry, and have not written one for a while now, and so today because I am in such a great mood (after an emotional weekend!) I chose to celebrate it by creating not  one but three Haikus. Hope you enjoy the pictures that inspired me, as well!

Morning's Dawn*

Drinking Earl Grey tea
Early morning's pure pleasure
Bliss is in the simple things





Afternoon's Awakening*

Merry singing birds
Makes me float in happiness
Landing gently:  free



Evening's Expectations*

Family gathered
A wonderful tasty meal
I smile at the thought

BlogNote*

Titles are not for the Haikus but for the collection of 365~photographs.                                                          

Preparing for Sunday's First Communion

Today we bought middle daughter's communion dress, together with a new pair of shoes to go along with it. 

We  also got a Spring/Summer dress for the eldest, while the littlest came back from Germany with a dress bought by Oma H. 

They would be both wearing these dresses on middle sister's special occasion, which will be on Sunday!

Another daughter, who will have her first communion.

 It seems not so long ago  that eldest had her first communion (June, 2006), and we were still living in Germany, and life was very different.

So many changes, so many transitions, but traditions, ceremonies of life's passages remains constant.

The more I grow with our girls, the more I find comfort on all things constant, while I find simple ways to go with life's ever-changing flow.

What memories do you associate with first communions?

Mother's Day On the Beach

The eldest found the shell and took a picture of it while we were walking down towards the beach

A short and what I hope will be a sweet greeting post:

Happy Mother's Day, and greetings from the lovely beach of  Zandvoort, the Netherlands!

How was the Mother's Day weekend, and how did you spend it? 

Another shell that the eldest found hanging in one of my ear hoops - I was asked by eldest not to forget to mention that detail!

Blognote:

I feel much lighter, now that the girls are at home again.  I have missed them terribly, and I think that was one of those little triggers that made the weekend a tad emotional, and turned me a bit of a melodramatic blogger!☺

Thoughts As Mother's Day Approaches (2)

Two years, one week and one day ago I took this picture of the girls. . .

I look at it again tonight filled with love and deep yearning, that I may hold them all in my arms sooner than tomorrow.

Through the years, I have been very hard on myself because I felt, that I have let manic-depression rule over my life, thus short-changing my daughters, whom I all have wished for all of my life, of a mother they deserve.

Luckily, I have been blessed with family, friends, and random wonderful kind-hearted people, whom I all have met throughout my journey to healing, who all have helped me in my struggles, and have not let me give up.

When  feelings of helplessness, fear, and all the myriad emotions, that one goes through when the dark moments revisit, I look at the images of my daughters, of moments captured that I would not like to forget, and after a while I see them in my mind, and their eyes, and see, to them, I am just the best that they could ever have as a mother.

I try to hold on to that image because not believing it is giving in to the darkness of my mind, and not the light of love of my daughters.

BlogNote 0:09 AM (this is actually more a note for me, so I will not forget...)

I almost did not write today, and spent half an hour in the bathroom crying, purging all the negative feelings I was having over myself before I literally shook my head, and made myself focus on "simply being there", no matter how I feel, and no matter what thoughts will pour out on the keyboard and on to the computer screen.

Yeah, 365 are not free from tears.

Thoughts As Mother's Day Approaches

My Mommy, , when she was 17 y.o.

These thoughts were written on the 5th of May...*

I will take the next few days as an occasion to sort out some old family pics, which I took with me when I left the Philippines for my first trip abroad, January 1993.

It is still difficult for me to look back because it seems since I left my birth country, life simply fast forwarded, and the years flew by so quickly with so many huge transitions, that I would have loved to have experienced with my family near by and not oceans away.

My Dad † passed away 1999, the year I conceived eldest daughter; my grandmother Nanay I † passed away before my Mommy finally visited us in Germany.  By then my own small family has grown with the second child in our second home in Hamburg.

There were so many milestones and painful experiences, which happened all at the same time, that I could enumerate but I have learned to focus on the great memories & treasured moments I did share with my family in the Philippines, and feel enriched by the great memories & treasured moments my family and I experienced in Germany.

There should be no place for regret in decisions made, which changed how life might have been. NOW is great BECAUSE of those decisions; the compromises and sacrifices one had to take along with those decisions are part of living.

Change is the only constant in life, which we have to accept for us to be able to truly BE in the simple moments we share, with the people we cherish.

Living in the now is what life is all about.

My thoughts as the days approaches  Mother's Day (Sunday, 8th of May)

*BlogNote:

With this post, I am taking Michelle V. Rafter's advice in 25 Ways to Blog Everyday, posted at WordCount, of pre-writing, and pre-scheduling the publishing of posts. Later on, I will be checking out  Editorial Calendar Plug-in, mentioned in the post, which is meant to assist with this endevour.

 It is a part of my baby steps to make blogging regularly a simple part of my life. ☺

Have Fun Getting to Know Holland! (Part 1)

(This was yesterday's emergency placeholder blog, for background story please click: here)

On today's WorldCount Blogathon 2011  I am sharing, what hopefully will be a fun survey for everyone! Yesterday, for personal reasons, I was not be able to participate on the blog event's first theme day, for the topic: My Favourite Books on..., and will have to do it instead another day this week!

The day before yesterday, I visited About English Idiom's page, by scrolling down the 2011 WordCount Blogathon Blogroll, and I found this neat survey widget!

So, I am using this for today, to try out one of Michelle V. Rafter's suggestion in 25 Ways to Blog Every Day. I have not done this before on this page, and I am excited to see the result!

Try to answer without using Google, and have fun with the poll!  Later on, you can look up your answers, and maybe learn a little bit more about the Netherlands, than you do now! I sure did!

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.

BlogNote:

Please adjust the scrollbar on the side and bottom frame of the embedded poll to see for example the entire painting of Johannes Vermeer, and be able to answer the corresponding question! ☺

Greeting everyone in the Netherlands:
Happy Liberation Day!