Gefelicitaart!

A simple collage of our early morning bike ride to the bake shop, before I brought K to school, and after doing the grocery shopping.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
― Dr. Seuss, Happy Birthday to You!

Summer holidays flew by, and as every year after the Summer, our girls countdown the days to their respective birthdays.  Middle born in August,  oldest in October, youngest (and mijn liefste P) in November. 

So, today K is celebrating her 11th birthday!

Mona Lisa smile from my "baby"

We planned to get her ears finally pierced after school but Littlest had a fever last night, and I had to stay home with her while we waited for K to come home.

She agreed, that we will do it Saturday before we go bowling with the family.

Luckily, I could at least bring K this morning to school because J could stay with Littlest, since she did not have to go to her school very early.


This was both lovely and practical. I was able to make her choose the cake dessert we will eat after dinner.  K also chose a chocolate muffin for herself to eat for school break, and a cream bun to eat for tea-time. Well, I could not resist buying chocolate donuts for liefste P, J, and me, and a pink donut for Littlest.

As much as I miss the bake shops in Germany being just around the corner where we used to live, I am glad that our bakery is 5 kilometer away from where we now live! hahaha

Fruit cake!

For me it is a simple relished joy, whenever I could share - even for short moments! - exclusive time with one child. And it's sad that Littlest had to stay back home but it was nice to share a bike ride with K to school on her birthday.

Birthday spread without flowers is unthinkable! :)

I'm happy that the first blog after our Summer holidays is about what we did in the morning of K's birthday.

It was not something spectacular. But it was special; we had a few precious moments for ourselves: mother & daughter, 11 years together. :)

Most of all, it was a normal start to a day, devoid of anxiety (on my part) or hectic.  Simple, normal. Blissful birthday. 

Moving to a New "FB Home"

I think there is something more important than believing: Action! The world is full of dreamers. There aren’t enough who will move ahead and begin to take concrete steps to actualize their vision. -W. Clement Stone

a web-cam image documenting the evening of our move from Germany to the Netherlands, March 2009

Last Friday, I deactivated my first ever FB account after 4 years of reminiscing how life was before I moved from Germany to the Netherlands, and consequently recording there our early life in a small village here in North Holland.

My last profile and cover photo from my deactivated FB account

Closing the old FB account was not as easy as I thought it would be. But something I truly had to do.

Moving on to another chapter in your life sometimes requires a "symbolic ritual". At least in my case.

Deactivating that account (as originally planned a long time ago) is an attempt to close one chapter and move on to the next with a sharper focus on applying lessons I have learned in life with much vigour.

I am not re-inventing who I am, with the new FB account I created.

Deactivating the old account (not me as a person!) is my way of shedding an old skin (for lack of a better word!) I no longer feel is a part of me, and delaying the inevitable (i.e. holding on too much - once again - to the past) is hindering me from reinforcing the positive changes, we are working on applying in our lives.

There were so much gained through various very open interactions (on various posts & PMs) on that  FB account ; they all helped us a lot adjust to our new life here in the NL. As well, as help me get through over some personal issues.

There is nothing wrong with being a very open person, in my opinion, but I've opened myself too much (by choice) online. Although I profited and learned a lot through this openness, I've also in the process opened myself to a lot of hurt.

My new FB account

What I have learned on my way to strengthening myself : I should focus on continuously and consistenly reinforcing positive learned behaviour, which will help me and my family have a stable, balance life.  A life of quality.

I feel, I can do this by starting afresh, and consciously being more aware of how I interact publicly/online.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

Learning to Live Again

My greatest support: mijn liefste P. (from June, 2013)

@ Happy Feet in the Netherlands - I write about running, and my pursuit of a healthier life: physically & mentally

It's good to feel alive! 

Yesterday, I once again felt how far I have come in my pursuit to be a stronger person, after writing about running a race in our village: Driedorpenloop 2013: Running Home. I felt I've finally come home in every sense of the word.

You do not know how much happiness it brings me to be able to do the most normal things, that others take for granted.  As simple as writing what I did, and how I feel about it.

This month, I am making a huge effort to write in my blogs how running and writing helped me learn to live again, a life of quality. After suffering silently from manic-depression, -  undiagnosed until I was 30 years old -  it took blogging to make me confront and deal with it, and reach out to ask others for help and support.

collage from March 2009 - celebrating the month we moved to the Netherlands

When I moved to the Netherlands with the girls to begin a new life with mijn liefste P, I made a pact with myself, that I would do everything to not let my manic-depression beat me. I would do everything I can to live a full life, and make sure that the girls grow up with strong personalities; most of all create strong memories with them of a beautiful childhood.

from January, 2011

Blogathon 2013 is one of my way of documenting in words the struggle and triumphs of the years that passed since I decided to be pro-active in living with manic-depression, and not let it keep me from living a full life.

In this way, I hope to help others like I was generously helped.